“It’s because of you mummy’s late for work.”
The memories of these words have always remained vivid till this present day. It was as if it occurred yesterday. I remembered this particular mom while dropping off my then 2-year old son at the same day care centre. She was very frustrated with her daughter simply for causing her to be late for work. Leaving her daughter all sobbing and trembling, she left without even saying goodbye. I was taken aback at that moment. Looking at the little girl’s face pinning for her mother…. I thought to myself. No child should be left feeling that way. So unwanted.
I must say that the incident was an incredible life-changing episode in my life, considering the fact that I too was once in the rat race. Deep down, I knew I could not bear to walk down that same road. Finally, I checked my son out of the day care centre, took that courageous plunge and decided to home-school my child.
Fast-forward, my son is a healthy emotional 8 year old boy today. He’s inquisitive and warm. Sure, we may not afford an iPad or the latest Lego gadgets but we are happy having one another. He dotes on his 4 year old sister although they do get on each other’s nerves. They are a living proof of a home loving school environment. On some days, we indulge in painting activities, making our very own home dough. Other days, they’ll be cycling in the park or building puzzles. Then there’s water play and science experiments which my kids really love conducting them. In fact, when they were babies, we used to read to them. Till this very day, they enjoy being read to so much so that I have to hide the book after reading it for 50 times.
Some of you might wonder how I’m able to find time while managing the household chores. And yet having the energy to home-school them. The truth is you never will have the time. I used to be very upbeat when the floor was dirty with paints or when the clothes were not entirely ironed. I think the key to having a conducive home-schooling is to prioritise and manage it out TOGETHER with the kids and their father. I think support comes in many ways. Some of you may have parents or in laws or perhaps the assistance of a domestic helper. I, for one do not have much of that kind of support. My little helpers are my kids. Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”. Since the kids were very little, we trained them to keep their toys after playing with them. They are also taught to clean up a mess by using a dust pan. Spilled water should be wiped with a cloth. All plates should be sent into the sink after meals. In fact, my 4 year old daughter is learning how to make her bed. Just by folding her blanket in different shapes i.e. square, rectangle and star really excites her. Peeling off garlic skin is also one of my daughter’s favourite activities. She will patiently stand on her step stool and help me whisk the eggs. My point is, home-schooling need not be in a form of merely knowledge from books but rather little life experiences as I mentioned above.
Sure, there’ll be ups and downs, I kid you not and at times you might even feel like throwing in the towel. Your kids might talk back or even be rude at times. Honestly, there is no perfect home (noticed that I use the word conducive and not perfect). Being humans, we all have needs. I used to splurge on clothes and shoes unnecessarily when I was in the working force. I was never near the kitchen but today I am glad to say that I am able to cook decent meals for my family. Somehow you learn to define what is more important in life.
My only advise to moms or dads who wish to take this route, is to do it because you want to do it not because you are pressured by the views of others. If you can afford it, financially and emotionally, home-school your kids while they are still at their tender ages because this home-schooling route is a challenging one, which requires a tremendous amount of patience. The fact that your kids might not have the latest stuff or you not being able to purchase that LV handbag may not go down very well with some parents. To be honest, many parents are quite adamant in keeping up with the Joneses. But, then again, there is no wrong to that philosophy either. It’s just a matter of prioritising what’s important.
To me, when my 8 year old says this “Come sis, mom is not feeling well today. Let’s give her a massage. Mom’s always doing things for us. Now it’s our turn to do the same”.
That lights up my life….
This article was contributed by Lin Dee. She has spent the last 5 years as a full-time mother, during which she partially home-schooled her two kids. Lin Dee is a former English graduate of University Putra Malaysia (UPM).